Hot and Ready
Elephant Theatre
Is it hot all up in here or is it the dynamic potent, sexual energy of actresses Juliette Jeffers and Vanessa Williams making it sizzle? The NAACP image Award nominee and recipient, respectively, have combined their artistic efforts in their acting, writing and producing individual one-woman shows. Looking For A Chocolate Match.com for Jeffers and Feet On The Ceiling by Williams. The salacious mood jumps off with the Billy Stewart’s 1965 soul classic I Do Love You, followed by Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing by and the moving Whitney pre-Bobby Brown chaos Houston, You Give Good Love. The selection of music sets off the perfect aphrodisiac fusion of fly-sexy enticement before Jeffers utters a word.
Jeffers sits at her desk punching away at her keyboard posting her profile. She quickly goes down the typical list of questions and halts when asked about her body type. She bypasses the question how much she makes and for her age furiously types ‘I’m 30 whatever’. Like many others looking for love she goes by a pseudonym; Carolina. In imaginary time, “Carolina” gets 110 hits. Not too bad. It’s hard to believe that Jeffers would consider going online to find romance. She graces the stage wearing a burnt orange V-neck lace blouse, black slacks, chunky necklace adorning her caramel smooth skin and her impeccable braids stay atop her head. Her ribald humor and sensual demeanor represents the embodiment of a luscious queen. She confidently interacts with the audience when pleading her case about the pitfalls about Internet dating. A lot of women in the seats responded “Amen” sympathizing and probably relating to Jeffer’s plight. She breaks the men down into 8 categories. Of course, there’s more, but this is an hour-long show. The list begins with the in-the-closet chocolate match, the perverted chocolate match, followed by the poetic chocolate match. This is the man who heavily takes credit for lyrics to contemporary songs and recites in an over dramatic flair. He’s a better fit than the grammatically-challenged chocolate match who is still a better catch than the stalking chocolate match who refuses to accept that it’s never gong to happen for him and Jeffers.
Compared to the rudeness of the hit-and-run chocolate match, this is the man who lost Jeffers on purpose when he led the way to their destination. Then there’s the guy with Tourette’s syndrome and lastly the one with constant baby mama drama. Jeffers is relentless on how the matches, like the not so impressive Tyquan, resulted in all being immature toads nowhere in the vicinity of being her Chocolate Prince Charming Match. All of this madness didn’t deter her to stop looking. If she did, then she couldn’t entertain, and give heady warning, of anymore tales of woe.
Vanessa Williams follows Jeffers with a more risqué and tantalizing story. The former Soul Food and Melrose Place actress comes on with the 1975 Earth, Wind & Fire classic Reasons. Her fabulous smile and infectious attitude illuminated the audience. As she changes quickly out of her yellow print dress into more casual wear, Williams begins her story reviving a flesh hungry memory at age 15 when she had her eye on Julio, the neighborhood Puerto Rican boy. Her intensity reached climax as she recalled their hot and heavy make out session in her building. While getting felt up for the first of many times, oh the memories, Williams kept one eye out for her grams. Ahh, the good old days when enjoying the feel of a masculine hand appreciating an innocent, but not for long, body. She yells out confidently “I am woman, strong, powerful and sexual.” Then said in a sedate tone, “Even though I didn’t have a clue.” Seriously, did any of us? From then on, Williams realized her power as a woman. Williams admits that she got her advice located in the ‘scriptures and verses from the Bible…Essence magazine.” She recalled how Julio’s touch was ‘rising out of me like a rainbow.” With her femininity strong in effect, Williams strolls off to Reasons, again, taking her newly acquired knowledge and putting it to wonderful use. Whatta woman!
Hot and Ready, May 30th to June 7th Friday and Saturdays at 8 p.m. Tickets available by calling (323) 960-7721 or in person at the Elephant Theatre box office or online at www.plays411.com/lillianshow Tickets are $20. The Elephant Theatre is located at 6322 Santa Monica Blvd. Los Angeles, CA (between Santa Monica Blvd. and Lillian Way), Hollywood. Written and Produced by Juliette Jeffers and Vanessa Williams. Directed by Denise Yvonne Dowse. Photos were taken by WAITING ON THE NAME.
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