COURTNEY LOVE STILL ALIVE
Sienna Miller All Caught Up in Real Sex Sting!
It’s hard enough dealing with the fact that your man slept with the nanny, but now actress Sienna Miller is fighting claims that she had actual intercourse during sex scenes with Hayden Christensen in her new film Factory Girl. Miller, as well as everyone involved with the film, has denied this having happened. After all, everyone knows that sex on set is almost always simulated, save for those filmmakers with larger-than-life egos, those who go by the name of Vincent Gallo and, well, anyone who happens to own a video camera and dates Paris Hilton at the same time (hey, kinda like Vincent Gallo).
Courtney Love is the Next American Idol!
It appears as though producers behind the hit show American Idol might be looking to replace one pill popper with another. Yes, according to Courtney Love or “the drugs” (because we’re not sure who’s talking), she’s been approached and asked to appear on The Most Popular Show Ever. Oh, but it gets worse—producers might actually want to replace Paula Abdul and stick Love in between Randy and Simon…only it’s pretty safe to say that there will be no love shared between those three. Heck, with her in the middle, at least a lot more contestants will get in to Hollywood. However, I do not want to be there when those same contestants wake up at 4am, realizing they never used protection.
Tyra Banks Wants You to Kiss Her Fat Ass!
Following an unflattering picture and reports that claimed the retired supermodel-turned-talk show host has gained 40 pounds, Tyra Banks went on the defensive, appearing on her show in a bathing suit and telling the “media” to “kiss her fat ass!” You go girl! Now, I’m sure next season’s America’s Next Top Model will feature nothing but a bunch of girls with some meat on their bones…instead of the usual group of malnourished teenage misfits. Oh wait, that wouldn’t be any fun.
And This Week’s Golden Donkey Goes To…
…Miss USA Tara Conner for finally admitting to the world that she’s a coked-up dope. Oh, this girl is throwing the entire sob story on us—there’s coke, there’s alcohol, and, of course, there’s abuse. Conner told Matt Lauer that she has witnessed some abuse “earlier on” in her life in an attempt to change the subject and allow America to simultaneously pour out an, “Aww, we feel so bad for her. It’s okay honey, now we understand why you’re so messed up.” Unfortunately, throughout all these interviews, Conner failed to admit that she’s a total fraud and that there are people all over the world who have witnessed horrible abuse without becoming skanky coke whores—and, for that, she’s this week’s biggest ass.
That Thing Called Love
Love, sex, marriage, divorce—and that’s just the first week of your average Hollywood romance. Here’s what’s swirling around the rumor mill this week…
Looks like Meg Ryan officially has a new friend…and his name is Matthew Perry. The two were recently spotted dining on a romantic dinner at The Brentwood, and Perry has been spending the weekend at Ryan’s pad. Eh, they’re probably just reading scripts to one another. I mean, that’s what friends do, right?
Britney Spears might be converting to Judaism…for the sex. The washed-up siren, who’s currently dating Isaac Cohen (a Jewish model), was spotted wearing a Jewish star while saying all kinds of nice things about the religion. Though she was raised a Southern Baptist, Spears once flirted with Kabbalah before claiming her baby is her religion. If your baby is your religion, is it safe to say that bottle of Jack Daniels is your prayer book?
Now that Cameron Diaz has moved on, it looks as though Justin Timberlake is doing the same. And, who better to choose as your rebound than Hollywood’s latest girl-that-gets-around, Jessica Biel. Reports claim Timberlake flew Biel into Sundance for the weekend in order to spend some time at Justin’s pricy condo. Unfortunately, there’s no word on whether he experienced 7th Heaven, and Biel was unavailable for comment, seeing as she was busy searching for this week’s boyfriend.
Quote of the Week:
Anna Nicole Smith in response to her estranged mother visiting Smith’s recently deceased son’s grave: “I can’t believe she had the nerve to come up here on my son’s 21st birthday and lay her fat self on my son’s grave. When I saw her on CNN and I saw how evil she was and how evil she looked…bring it on, Mom, Mommie Dearest, bring it on.”