Mamafied

Mamafied
Edgemar Center for the Arts

It’s really hard these days to be a mom. A career-mom, a stay-at-home mom, the I-won’t-be-like-my-mother-mom, it’s all a chore bringing home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and to remember not to give your hubby a whack when he forgot, yet again, to pick up dinner because you had to work late. No one understands the mama plight better than Susanna Brisk. This statuesque red-haired Australia born writer/actress/comedienne/former model told the truth and them some about being mamafied. In a nutshell, the title translates into anything and everything touched by the mama, in this case whatever the baby touches, causes the mother to make everything mama-proof and mama-safe. This necessary and eventual act causes a disturbance to said mother. Nerves of steel become jelly and malleable, an Excedrin and glass of Smart water sounds more satisfying than the latest Sex in the City cosmopolitan and the child becomes the mama’s whole world.

You know it’s gonna be a great show when the actress announces on loudspeaker that the show is highly offensive. Brisk mentions her two beautifully boys; Sampson the youngest whose always eating and may became the first Jewish linebacker and her oldest, David. She loves them with all her might and cares for them. Well, as noble as that sounds, she has no choice. She’s unable to find a nanny for the tykes but came close in hiring troubled singer Britney Spears’ nanny. If she can handle those kids, and the mentally unstable pop singer, the nanny can do the job right by Brisk. She also believes that the famed children’s writer Dr. Seuss is evil because of his terrible tongue twisters the parent read to their children. And even though she’s Jewish, she prays to the Buddha. Hey, we all need something to cling to. Her family came from Estonia, then part of the Soviet Union and relocated to Melbourne where Brisk was raised.

Brisk admits her fears of her inability to be a good mother, alongside, the importance of owning a Kegel master. She swears that by keeping it tone and supple your husband will not leave you for some 19-year-old hottie and the mother won’t need to use a vibrator after his penis malfunctions. Hey, it can happen. She hilariously talks about her fantasy in seducing RFG (Raw Food Guy). She daydreams about him taking her right there with the food not above 102 degrees, retaining the vitamins and minerals needed to keep their affair going. She further discusses the ultimate fantasy, which is, pack up her bags and leave for Sydney. She admits in being hungry, tired and spun in dizzying circles from being “mamafied.”

The 90-minute autobiography is packed with right-on humor and revealed secrets that will help the bewildered mommy. Every mother, soon-to-be-mother and in due course will become mothers, will nod their heads in agreement with Brisk. She will lead them to the promise land of respect and sanity. No matter how much it kills her.

Mamafied plays through Aug. 3, Fridays and Saturdays at 8:30 p.m. and Sundays at 7:30 p.m. at Edgemar Center for the Arts, 2437 Main St., Santa Monica, CA; for tickets, call 310.392-7327. For more information, visit www.edgemarcenter.org or www.mamfied.com