AFFLECK AND WILLIS WON’T DIE HARDER
GOSSIP GUY
BEYONCE DINES WITH HEPATITIS A!
Beyonce Knowles had a brief scare last week. No, she didn’t accidentally sleep with Pamela Anderson; instead, the singer-actress attended a bash celebrating the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, where one of the employees working in chef Wolfgang Puck’s kitchen had been diagnosed with Hep A. The Los Angeles Department of Public Heath rushed to inform guests that they were potentially at risk, and urged them to seek immediate medical treatment. Luckily for this Dreamgirl, the nightmare was averted, since she didn’t touch any of the food. C’mon, it’s a party for supermodels—did you really expect any of them to eat?
BRITNEY BONDS WITH DANIEL BALDWIN!
You know things are bad for Britney Spears when Daniel Baldwin offers up his phone number and a shoulder to cry on. Baldwin, in rehab recovering from practically everything, met up with Spears as the two spent some time together at the Promises rehab clinic in Malibu. It’s fitting, seeing as plenty of promises were being made by both parties; Spears promised to call if she were to have future problems, while Baldwin promised her a spot on VH1’s next D-list reality show.
VICTORIA BECKHAM: AMERICA’S NEXT TOP REALITY STAR!
Upon arriving in America, hubby David Beckham won’t be the only one bringing in a paycheck. Victoria Beckham has partnered with American Idol creator Simon Fuller on a new reality show that will revolve around the former Spice Girl’s transition to the States—including, but not limited to, watching one of the world’s richest gold diggers attempt to transport her entire entourage across the pond. Future episodes will include Mrs. Beckham spending as much money as humanly possible, while those of us at home remain glued to the TV set, as well as to our tasty microwave dinners.
AND THIS WEEK’S GOLDEN DONKEY GOES TO…
… Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis. Though he’s now married with a kid, Ben Affleck’s name has popped up in a new tell-all book from Hollywood madam Jody “Babydoll” Gibson. Apparently, Affleck spent a whole lot of money for sex with a blonde beauty named “Alyssa” in a Jacuzzi. Also outed in the book was Bruce Willis, though the Die Hard star denies ever exchanging his hard-earned cash for a little fun between the sheets. Affleck, on the other hand, refuses to comment. So, for being two of the hottest men on the planet, having sex and paying for it—Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis are this week’s biggest asses. (And it just goes to show, you have be an ass in order to get some…)
THAT THING CALLED LOVE
Love, sex, marriage, divorce—and that’s just the first week of your average Hollywood romance. Here’s what’s swirling around the rumor mill this week…
Well, look who decided to fess up and admit that they’re having a relationship. Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson finally caved and went public with their now re-kindled romance, after the pair were photographed kissing and holding hands in Australia. Hudson is currently filming Fool’s Gold and, apparently, Wilson has decided he was way too much of a fool for giving up those golden locks.
Is Britney back with K-Fed? According to reports, Spears left an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last week wearing a band on her wedding ring finger, leading some to believe she’s either hallucinating or, in fact, reconciling with her estranged husband. Last time we checked, pretending to go back in time after screwing up your entire life was not part of the 12-step program.
Chris Rock wants everyone to know that his marriage is as solid as a, well, rock. Following a report in the New York Daily News—that claimed Rock and his wife Malaak were parting ways—the comedian fought back in the same way most Hollywood folk do. Yes, he went on Oprah … with his wife and kids. Says Rock, “It is extremely hurtful to us, our children, and our extended family. We remain, as always, very happy and committed to our marriage and the beautiful family that we have built.” And watching you act in a film is extremely hurtful to us, Chris, but we don’t run to Oprah to complain about it.
Quote of the Week:
British designer Scott Henshall on Britney Spears’ new look: “What the fuck has Britney done shaving all her hair off? She’s too fat and looks like an alien. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl. She looks like trash.” 
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