WEEKLY SPORTS WRAP-UP
This past week, the sports world offered us up the NBA All-Star Game, a weekend long showcase of all that is NBA, which was held in Las Vegas—the first time an All-Star Game was held in a city without an existing NBA team. One might ask why hold it in a non-NBA city, and I will say that one has never been to Vegas (seriously, if you had to ask, you’re stupid).
Las Vegas—a town where more than a few NBA players own houses, home of the Palms Casino owned by the Maloof brothers who also own the Sacramento Kings, and the legalized debauchery—just made sense. An All-Star weekend is supposed to be a celebration of the achievements of these fine, rich athletes. I think they deserve a vacation in Vegas; God knows the stress levels basketball players have to endure. There have been talks about moving a sports franchise to Vegas, but the existence of sports betting throughout the town, and Vegas’ refusal to remove them from casinos, hinders any possible move. Oh well.
Other basketball stories include trade speculations, most notably with Pau Gasol of the Memphis Grizzlies, and Jason Kidd and Vince Carter of the New Jersey Nets. One rumor has the Los Angeles Lakers trading Kwame Brown, Jordan Farmar, another player, and maybe a draft pick for Kidd. I say do it, but why respond to rumors? With the trade deadline looming, rumors are going all over the place—to and fro, yes or no, up and down, and always twirling, TWIRLING! TWIRLING!
In other news, Britney Spears shaved her head, and got a couple of tattoos done recently, which is Step Four in Uncle Billy’s “7 Steps Towards Justifying that Trailer You Bought.” She was refused an ad during the Super Bowl, thereby fulfilling the requisite for sports relevancy set by my editors.
Marty Schottenheimer, who has taken several different teams to the best record in the conference but has failed to reach the Super Bowl his whole career, was fired as coach of the San Diego Chargers, and was replaced by Norv Turner, a coach who’s really never won anything. As I’ve said before, San Diego’s not going to have a championship team.
Some of the more popular sports topics recently have been about who can make up the most accurate mockup of the next NFL draft, and the finalization of recruiting classes for next year’s college football season. Most sports writers believe that the Oakland Raiders will use the #1 overall pick on quarterback JaMarcus Russell of LSU, but others think that they might trade down to fill out their many needs on offense. Some others still don’t believe that it’ll matter at all. This has been a recent topic on sports talk radio. Just goes to prove that football rules this country. In related news, the US is still at war in Iraq.
In all honesty, the sports world really failed us this past week. When the week’s top stories are just speculations and conjectures on things that haven’t yet happened, your section in the news failed, as seen in this article. Good thing there are bars such as the Mountain Bar in Chinatown on Hill Street. Next to living a life, working toward a future, reliving the wisdom of Rocky and Bullwinkle, and about anything else productive, drinking with old friends is the best way to recuperate from a slow sports week. And Vic “The Brick” Jacobs still sucks.