Steve Harvey at Kodak Theater
On Friday, June 6, at the Kodak Theatre was the place to hear in full effect the brazen, sharply-dressed, best man on the radio, Steve Harvey.
At 8:15 p.m., folks rolled as Marilyn Ashford Brown (www.marilynashfordbrown.com) sang the Barry White slow and sexy classic “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe.” It was more of a fashion show than a comedy one as people dressed in their best designer outfits or their most comfortable wearing tees and jeans. Ashford Brown switched over to the late Phyllis Hyman 1979 hit “Somewhere in My Lifetime.” After Ashford Brown, it was time for a pre-comedy boost provided by Pres Scott. The comedian talked about Obama’s win and demanding the troops return. He got a lot of shouts, thunderous applause and fists thrown high in the air agreeing. Scott isn’t crazy about Los Angeles. He recalled his first, and probably last trip, to the Beverly Center Mall in West Hollywood and was surprised that he saw “a regular ass shirt for $300.” He laughed and said his trademark “Ain’t that some bulls**t” line throughout the rest of the night. After a few more remarks about growing up poor, his momma wearing only one wig in her life, Steve ‘The Man’ Harvey took over.
Harvey cut through the towering curtains emblazoned with his morning show logo across. As always, dressed to impress in probably something from his own collection; gold brilliant tie, matching hankie and jewelry, black suit with white stripes.
“God is everything. I miss LA. And there will be some cussing this evening.” Once again, the applause outweighed the warning. He began giving some safe sex advice too inflammatory, but hella funny, to print.
Harvey didn’t hold anything back. Stifled by strict FCC rules, he kept it (almost) clean over 2 nights and let out everything he couldn’t say on air. Newly remarried, the father of 4 advocated a law for the homeless. Harvey recalled a time when a homeless man wore a cap with the letters FBI on it. He knocked on Steve’s car window and all he saw were the letters. He quickly rolled down and heard what sounded like ‘Cease the car’ but actually said, “Is there a sandwich in the car?” The guy’s homeless aroma gave him away. Steve is tired of getting hate e-mails and strongly suggested to send it elsewhere. Tattoos are not cool. That came from his oldest son who wanted one. Harvey, of course, said no. The reason? Having a butterfly tattoo at 20 will turn into a moth at 50. Don’t do it, especially when you’re still living under his roof. And forgot about getting a Chinese tat. What you may think reads “Strong” on the side of your neck, could actually mean ‘Jiggaboo.”
And as far as his new clean shaven look, Harvey has heard it all. The only opinion that matters is his wife Marjorie. She loves her man’s new look and that’s the only opinion that matters. It’s Harvey being himself giving it straight no chaser, in other words, at his absolute best.
Harvey gave his opinion on many other topics: Atlanta Falcons quarterback Mike Vick. “Just let him play,’ Harvey advised. The death of Anna Nicole Smith. “Who was she?” Who was this heifer?” The polygamy story on the news is the perfect example Harvey labeled as a white news story. He commented that the women were the ugliest he has ever seen, dressed like Betsy Ross wearing their hair like Aunt Bee. Also, former astronaut Lisa Nowak, who drove to Florida from Texas last February, to kidnap her boyfriend’s lover. Alleging she wore an adult diaper. “Only an angry, bitter white woman would do that.” “Urine after 30 is different,” said the Virginia born actor/comedian, “It’s got Hennessy, jalapeño, and cornbread sticking close to your body.”
And of course, his final day at K-DAY. On May 23, 2005, known in Harvey infamy as Black Friday, around 3,000 fans and some of Harvey’s co-workers rallied around him on last day. The streets were blocked and congested that meter maids didn’t give anyone a ticket. A mock funeral was done signifying the demise of “The Steve Harvey Morning Show.” In 2005, Harvey inked a deal with Premiere Radio Networks and Inner City Broadcasting Corporation for a new version of "The Steve Harvey Morning Show" based out of 107.5 FM WBLS in New York.
The greatest story of that Friday night was dreading calls he gets from pesky relatives. We’ve all done that. Before, seeing who called ahead of time, all of us at one point have kicked ourselves for answering only to find out it was Aunt Bertha on the other end complaining about something new or exaggerates on an existing problem. Harvey is no different. This particular family trauma was his sweet, but dim-witted niece getting married in Cleveland to a thug. The wife convinced him to go. When they arrived, they counted 24 people in the wedding, the party and guests combined. The wedding was on a Wednesday. ‘This is the biggest bulls**t of the f***ing year”, he bellowed. The men wore khaki shirts and pants instead of tuxes. One fool on house arrest left kicking off the signal from his ankle bracelet. The bridesmaids wore different shades of brown and mint green gowns resembling hooker outfits. These dresses had a very high slit way up the thigh exposing tattoos that should not ever be revealed. No minister, only a friend who gave his version of the vows using his arms to emphasize the point. Rice was thrown during the wedding, not afterwards and instead of releasing white doves at the ceremony’s end, a couple of chickens, squirrels and pigeons (with a weak leg); all of different colors were released in the air. Or limping on the ground if you’re the pigeon. The bride begged her uncle to not use this wedding as fodder for his show. Was she kidding? Obviously, she doesn’t know her Uncle Steve too damn well.
“I would like to see an African American run for President,” Harvey said during a rare serious moment. Barak Obama has a real chance at winning.” Harvey strongly advised that the troops should “do what you need to do to come back home.” According to the multi NAACP Image Award winner, all this talk about weapons of mass destruction is ridiculous. “We have not found a firecracker,” he said in a serious amusing tone. Harvey swore that if the age gets upped to re-enlist, he will shoot everybody the moment he gets off the plane so he can return home Friday. For our “beloved” president needs a life altering experience; an ass whipping. “Where you have never been the same since.” Something we have all experienced from our mama’s backhand.
In the end, the King of Comedy and Fashion reflected as how he wanted to be in show business. It all happened in the 6th grade. Ten-year old Stevie was poor and nicknamed Potato Chip for his small build. He was so skinny he double wrapped his brother’s belt around him. The teacher told everyone to write a paper on what they want to be when they grow up. The teacher read Harvey’s and made him come to the front of the class. He was confident he would receive a gold star for his paper. Instead he got interrogated. He was so scared and nervous he got an erection which made it worse because he tried to hold it which got him more of a scolding from mean teacher. He wrote that he wants to be in television. The mean teacher pinned Harvey’s paper to his shirt and wore it home. He claimed The Steve Harvey Show at age 10. He had TUSSY deodorant in a jar as a sponsor and wrote and performed his own jingle. Who says dreams don’t come true?
GOD, FAMILY, EDUCATION and BUSINESS is what Steve believes should be the order of life. By having these things in this order, he assures success and good living for the rest of us. Amen.