Ah, Valentine’s Day!  A time for giving.  A time for love.  A time for suicides.  There’s no way to ignore it: Fully booked restaurants and migrant workers selling wilted roses on street corners will rub our faces in this wondrous day of Eros…but, how to avoid awkward silence and repressed rage between you and your loved one?

Here’re some thoughtful ideas from your friends at Entertainment Today.  We might not love you, but we definitely know how to make it seem like we love you, just like a good boyfriend/girlfriend should.


Boxer shorts with funny prints.

Ice cold imported beer and red meat

A DVD basket including Die Hard, G.I. Joe, Family Guy, Bloodsport

A chicken wings basket at Hooters

A night at Spearmint Rhino 

Coachella concert tickets

A soccer ball, a basket ball, any sort of ball

A day at a Lakers Game

A nice watch that suits his personality

Home-made brownies

Taking him to a Kings game

A trip to Magic Mountain

Promising never to take him shopping ever again

Yearly subscription to Hustler, Playboy, Maxim, and Stuff

His favorite Star Wars action figure

Modeling the lingerie for him

There’s also always…

More than cuddling
Laughing at his jokes
Scratching his back
Cooking him dinner
Listening to him
Laughing when he farts, calling it “inventive”


Flowers (no carnations please)
Be creative, make it personal
Mother Earth grows more than only roses

Moet & Chandon Champagne and strawberries

A DVD basket including BBC’s Pride & Prejudice, Sex and the City, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and The Notebook

A romantic dinner at [insert trendy, overpriced, Italian/French restaurant here]
e.g. Il Cielo/Mi Piace/Dolce/Chocolat

A night of ballroom dancing

Musical tickets for Wicked

Yoga class, Pilates class

A day at the zoo

Jewelry that no other girl has

DeBrand heart-shaped box filled with gourmet chocolates

Taking her ice skating

A trip to the Magic Kingdom

An Anthropolgie gift certificate

Babeland Body Kit: massage oil, condoms, bubble bath, oh, and did I mention a key chain vibrator/flashlight?

Her favorite Care Bear

La Perla or Victoria’s Secret lingerie

There’s also always…

Holding her hand
Promising you’ll protect her from harm
Brushing the hair out of her face
Listening to her
No farting